Save Me from Myself
by XOiHeartMiloOX
Summary: The pain is so bad. I don’t know how much more I can take. Oh, mom, why can’t you see that Ritsuka is right in front of you? RXS Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless.


Save Me from Myself

"Get out! You're not my Ritsuka! I want my Ritsuka! Bring him back! I want **him**, not you! Get out!"

Ritsuka just missed another flying plate as it crashed into a million pieces right behind him. He'd never seen his mother get this mad. All he did was pick carrots instead of beets. He couldn't take this anymore. Day by day the beatings would get worse and worse. Soubi would ask him about it, but Ritsuka denied everything and left in a huff each time. At the moment, Ritsuka's mother was in a corner, rocking back and forth muttering, "I want my Ritsuka back…" Ritsuka took this opportunity to run to his room, but he wasn't quick enough. She got up instantly, with a knife behind her back, and managed to stab Ritsuka in the leg, running it down from his knee to his ankle. Ritsuka screamed out in pain as his mother nicked his arm and kicked him a few times in the ribs. She came after him again, but tripped over the first knife, so with all the willpower and strength he could muster up, Ritsuka ran for dear life up the stairs and into his safe house (a.k.a. his room).

When in his room, he immediately limped to his bathroom and grabbed the first aid kit. He positioned himself against the wall and slid down carefully. He pulled down a few towels as well to try and stop the bleeding. Ritsuka examined his leg as pools of blood poured out all over the bathroom floor. He took the first towel and tied it around the first half of the slice and used the second for the bottom half. About 30 minutes later the bleeding seemed to have stopped considerably, but he was still unable to move.

After getting the majority of his leg wound cleaned and bandaged, Ritsuka moved on to his arm. It was by no means anywhere close to the pain in his leg, but it still hurt. Ritsuka grabbed a wash cloth and cleaned the wound before wrapping it securely. Satisfied with his work, Ritsuka tried to get up, but was pulled back down in an instant. He heard his phone vibrate and assumed it was Soubi. Ritsuka didn't really want Soubi to see him like this or worry about him, so he left the phone alone. With that he fell into a deep sleep against the wall.

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Soubi was disappointed when Ritsuka didn't pick up his phone. He told himself not to worry and that Ritsuka was probably taking a bath or doing his homework. By 8 PM, Soubi was beyond worried. He and Ritsuka didn't end on good terms yesterday, when he wouldn't tell Ritsuka anything about Septimal Moon, and he hadn't spoken to the neko boy since. He could've assumed that Ritsuka was still mad at him, but Soubi got this intense feeling down his spine, and convinced himself to go and look for his sacrifice.

"Don't worry Ritsuka, I'm coming."

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Ritsuka woke up at about 7:45 with a killer pain in his leg. Memories of the nights' events ran through Ritsuka's mind as he slowly got up and leaned on the sink. He looked at himself in the mirror and saw all the scars from his past. His face was pale, his eyes were swollen from crying, and his hair was scattered everywhere.

"The pain is so bad. I don't know how much more I can take. Oh, mom, why can't you see that Ritsuka is right in front of you?"

Ritsuka opened the cabinet to reveal an assortment of pills. Some medication was prescribed right after his 'memory loss' from his doctor, and some was prescribed from his psychologist not too long ago. He studied each bottle and pulled out a couple of tubes. He held in his hand Lithium and Valium. Separate, they work perfectly fine, but what would happen if he mixed them together? Ritsuka's hand shook as he deciphered whether or not to go through with his plan.

"Mom, I'm sorry that I can't be here for you, but you gave up on me a long time ago, so now it's my turn."

With that final thought, Ritsuka made up his mind and downed 5 Lithium and 6 Valium pills. At first he didn't feel anything, but within 5 minutes of taking the drugs, Ritsuka fell to the floor and shook violently. He managed to crawl into his room and grab his phone to call Soubi, but he screamed in unbearable pain before falling unconscious.

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A sharp pain shot through his body and hit his temple before vanishing just as quickly as it came. This only made Soubi run faster. As he neared Ritsuka's house, he heard an ear piercing scream, breaking glass, and a thump, but the weird thing was that two of the sounds came from opposite sides of the house. Soubi hurriedly scrambled through the balcony window before stopping dead in his tracks. There was blood everywhere, things strewn across the floor, as if a tornado passed through the room, and an unconscious Ritsuka, lying still on his back. Soubi's heart dropped even more when he noticed the 2 pill bottles next to Ritsuka. He carefully picked them up and was horrorstruck when he read what Ritsuka had taken.

"_How could Ritsuka, my Ritsuka, do that to himself? Was I not enough? Ritsuka, please stay strong. You __**have **__to stay strong and pull through this! Do this for me! Please…"_

Soubi gently picked up the comatose like boy and rushed him to the hospital. He barged through the door and yelled for help. "It's an emergency!" At an instant, a nurse and a doctor rushed over and laid Ritsuka onto the bed before pushing it to the emergency room.

"Excuse me sir, can you tell me what happened?"

Soubi seriously looked scared. He had never shown his emotions, that's how he was trained, but right now, a panicked look was all over his face. He got himself together so that he would be able to talk to the doctor. "Um, I'm not really sure, I found him like this when I went over to his house. He did have these near him though." Soubi pulled out the 2 medication bottles and handed them over to the doctor as the nurse continued to push the still lifeless Ritsuka past another set of doors.

"Where exactly did he get these?"

"I'm not really sure, but I know that he lost his memory 2 years ago, so I'm guessing after that. I do know that he's seeing a psychologist as well, but unfortunately, I don't know her name. Ritsuka doesn't like to talk about it."

The doctor looked skeptically at Soubi, as if he didn't want to hear the answer to his next question.

"And what is your relation to this patient?"

Soubi knew that this was coming, so he told them the truth. "His name is Aoyagi Ritsuka, and he is my boyfriend."

Grunting uncomfortably, the doctor continued his line of questions, until he got to, "Where are his parents?"

Soubi didn't want to let the doctor know that Ritsuka's mother beat him and that his father was never home due to the fact the he didn't want to handle his wife, so he lied to him. "His mother is sick (which she technically was) and his father is on a business trip."

"Do you have any idea as to why Aoyagi would do this?"

"No, none at all."

The doctor could see the sincere sadness in Soubi's eyes, so he ended the questions and paid more attention to his patient. "Thank you, that will be all. We will inform you as to when you will be able to see him, so have a seat in the waiting room and someone will come to get you. Soubi bowed and left, "Please save my Ritsuka."

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It was about 1 AM when the doctor came out to get Soubi. He noticed that he was leaning against the wall asleep, so he walked over and woke him gently. "Excuse me, Mr. Agatsuma, I didn't want to disturb you, but if you want, Ritsuka is back from surgery." Soubi's eyes shot open and looked eagerly at the doctor. He had been so nervous about Ritsuka, that he worried himself to sleep. It was now the moment of truth. Soubi sat still and concentrated on what the doctor was about to say. He was so concentrated that he forgot to breathe.

"Mr. Agatsuma, are you alright?" Soubi looked up sheepishly as the doctor gave him a concerned look. _"I can't believe I forgot to breathe. I'm such an idiot. Plus I need to be here for Ritsuka."_

Once Soubi's breathing returned to normal, the doctor continued. "As I was saying, we were able to stabilize him, and we went ahead with the surgery. Fortunately, the pills hadn't gone through his whole system, so we cleaned them out and gave him something to ease the organs the pills did travel through. We also cleaned and rewrapped his wounds. He has a deep gash on his leg and a few scuffs and bruises over his body. I'm not going to ask you where he got them, but I do hope that you get him some help. He is sleeping right now, but if you want, you may go in. I will show you to his room. It was lucky that you found him when you did. Five minutes later, and he would've been dead."

"Yes, lucky." Soubi followed the doctor to Ritsuka's room and opened the door very carefully. The room was dark, but had a streamer of light come in from the window. Soubi walked over to the bed and saw Ritsuka hooked up to a couple of machines and had IVs coming out of his arms. "What are these and why are they connected to Ritsuka. He's not a robot, or some experiment." The doctor could tell that Soubi was just looking out for Ritsuka, so he didn't take anything personal.

"Well, he has a heart monitor to make sure his heart is still beating. This one checks his pulse and the IVs give him morphine for his pain and other medications that he needs to make a full recovery. I assure you that all of this will help and not hurt him. Anyways, visiting hours are over, but since you saved this boy's life, you may stay. Have a good night, and call if there's an emergency."

When the doctor left, Soubi pulled up a chair next to Ritsuka's bed and took one of his hands. He squeezed it gently and placed tender kisses up Ritsuka's arm. When he got to his shoulder, Soubi lingered on the kiss before he left a small, sweet peck on Ritsuka's lips. Soubi leaned back, but kept a hold of Ritsuka's hand. He ran his fingers over the soft, supple skin and traced over each knuckle.

Soon the young boy stirred and woke up to find blonde hair lying across the bed. He noted that said blonde's breathing was calm and even, so Ritsuka didn't bother him. He knew it was Soubi, but what he didn't know was how he ended up here. He remembered his mother, the knife, and the pills, but than what? Not too long after, Soubi had awoken to a puzzled Ritsuka. Wait, Ritsuka was awake! Soubi had never been more relieved about anything in his whole life. He threw himself onto Ritsuka and hugged the stuffing out of him. "I'm never letting you go again. How could you just leave me like that? What would I have done without you, my Ritsuka?"

Ritsuka pulled away slightly to look into Soubi's eyes. He was looking for the truth, but hadn't found it yet. Doubt washed over him, and his questioning face became distorted with furry. "I thought you'd be happy if I was gone! I mean, it's not like anyone will really notice! They'll probably forget about me within a day of not seeing me! I'm useless to everyone, especially you!"

Soubi was shocked to hear what Ritsuka really felt inside. And while thinking this, he couldn't help but feel somewhat responsible. He didn't mean to ignore Ritsuka; he just wanted to protect him. If he could, he would have Ritsuka by his side 24/7, but every time he tried to get close to him, Ritsuka would push him away, call him stupid, and go home. _"Why won't you let me get close to you?"_

"That's not true. You know that I love you."

"NO! Shut up! I'm loveless, remember? No one can love me…"

Soubi stood and gently gathered Ritsuka into his arms. He than sat down on the bed and fixed Ritsuka so that he was in his lap. Ritsuka gave in and nestled into Soubi's embrace. Soubi smirked and lifted his hand to stroke Ritsuka's soft cat ears. He was surprised to hear Ritsuka purr and chuckled at his innocence. Of course, this made Ritsuka pout and blush a little, but it was worth it.

He knew the time was coming, I mean , it had to happen sooner or later, so Soubi decided that now was it. "Hey, Ritsuka?"

"Hm?" Ritsuka had his eyes closed and let Soubi continue his massaging.

"Will you tell me what happened? Please?" Ritsuka sat up and turned so that he was facing Soubi. He winced when he hit his leg in the wrong spot, but he tried to deny the fact that it hurt. He really didn't want to have to explain anything, especially to Soubi, but he felt that he had a right to know. As Ritsuka gathered his thoughts, Soubi tightened his grip around the boy's waist. Finally, Ritsuka was ready to explain.

"Ok, I'll tell you. It started when my mother and I were eating dinner. I picked the wrong food, so she decided to punish me for it. I took the hits and tried to get away when she wasn't looking, but she ran up and stabbed me. I finally got away, but I could barely walk, so I slid into the bathroom and cleaned and wrapped my wounds. I remember thinking that I wanted my mother to realize that I am Ritsuka, and than I lost it. I found the pills in the cabinet. It was the perfect escape route. After taking them, I was going to call you to say goodbye, but than I thought that if you knew I was in trouble, you'd save me. Why didn't you just let me die!? I was ready! It's what I wanted! Why…"

Ritsuka was in tears and gripped onto Soubi's shirt. Soubi could feel the tears soaking through, but at that moment, he didn't care. All he cared about was Ritsuka. He wrapped his arms around Ritsuka and pulled him into an embrace, but all Ritsuka did was sit there and cry. Rocking him back and forth calmed him a bit, but every now and than, Soubi could hear a sniffle, or two. "I couldn't let you die because I wasn't ready to let go. I love you so much, but you never believe me. I try to show you my love, but you push me away. And the reason I don't call you during a battle is because I don't want you to get hurt. You get hurt enough as it is! I just can't…"

Ritsuka raised his head and watched as Soubi silently broke down. Blonde hair covered his shoulder and he could feel Soubi's breathing tickle his ear. At that moment, Ritsuka realized that Soubi wasn't lying and that he truly loved him. Ritsuka lifted Soubi's head off of his shoulder and looked deep into his eyes. They were a bit puffy from tearing (Soubi doesn't cry), but he was still beautiful in Ritsuka's eyes. He hesitantly brought Soubi's face closer until they were a centimeter apart. They kept their eyes locked on one another's' and Ritsuka lifted up to kiss Soubi.

At first it was sweet and innocent, but soon after, Soubi took over. He brought their faces closer (if that's possible) and tried to deepen the kiss. He slid his agile tongue over Ritsuka's bottom lip, asking for entrance. He was surprised, but happy when Ritsuka complied and let Soubi enter. After Ritsuka got the hang of it, he slowly stuck his tongue into Soubi's mouth and explored the new land waiting for him. Soubi moaned into the kiss and urged Ritsuka to continue. As Ritsuka advanced, Soubi flipped them over, so that he was on top. Soubi traced his finger up and down Ritsuka's flat stomach, which caused Ritsuka to giggle. His tail swished over Soubi's hand to try and cease the tickling, but Soubi grabbed a hold of Ritsuka's tail and followed it all the way up until he found his derriere. He gave it a light squeeze before going down to the hem of the hospital gown.

He had finally found the bottom and was about to rip it off of Ritsuka, when they heard the door fly open and smash into the wall behind it. The whole room shook as the doctor and couple of nurses rushed into the room. They stopped dead in their tracks when they found the source of the problem…Soubi. Ritsuka blushed deeply and sat up, trying to divert their attention from the tall blonde straddling above him. "Um, is there anything wrong doctor?"

The doctor shook his head and laughed as he checked Ritsuka's heart monitor. "Well now that I know the reason for your heart rate transgressing, I'll leave you two alone. Mr. Agatsuma, please don't kill my patient." He left quickly and ushered the nurses that wanted to stay and watch out of the room as well.

Once both of their breathing became steady, they looked at each other and started laughing as well. "You do realize that this was your fault." Ritsuka blamed Soubi as he playfully hit his arm.

Soubi watched Ritsuka's tail swish back and forth, and knew that he was embarrassed. He loved how he could read Ritsuka's emotions just by watching his ears and tail. It was one of those things that most people fail to notice, but not him. "Well, I'm just glad that it was the doctor and not your mother or friends. That would've been awkward to explain."

At the mention of his mother, Ritsuka's ears flattened against his head as he wondered something. "Where do I go now?" Soubi didn't quite understand the question, but he had an idea as to what Ristuka was asking. He boldly offered, "Stay with me.", thinking that Ritsuka would brush it off as a joke, but to his surprise, Ritsuka didn't answer right away. "But won't I just be a burden?"

This was a first. "Of course you won't be a burden. If you were, why would I ask you in the first place. I told you that I love you, and I really mean it. I just want what's best for you, and I think that leaving your house would be best. I don't want you hurt again by you mother, or yourself. So, please stay with me?"

It took Ritsuka a few minutes of pondering to himself, but soon enough, he made his final decision. "Ok, Soubi, I'll move in with you."

Soubi was more than ecstatic when he realized that Ritsuka had just accepted his offer, and leaned over to give Ritsuka the most passion filled kiss he could give. As soon as they broke off the kiss, Soubi and Ritsuka felt a sizzling pain at the same time.

When the pain was over, Ritsuka noticed that Soubi was bleeding from his neck. He moved over to examine it, and what he saw made him gasp in astonishment. "S-Soubi, you're neck. I-It's-" Ristuka took Soubi's hand and slid it across the scar on his neck, which now read 'Loveless'. Soubi hooked his other arm around Ritsuka's waist to pull him in for a hug, when Ritsuka hissed in pain. Soubi lifted up his hospital gown and ran his fingers over Ritsuka's name, printed on his lower back. They had finally become one, which was proof that they were a true Fighter Unit.

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Several days later, Ritsuka was released from the hospital and as planned, Soubi was there to pick him up and take him to his new home. While Ritsuka was still recovering, Soubi called Ritsuka's father and surprisingly got a hold of him. He explained the situation, and even though Mr. Aoyagi disapproved of it, he accepted it and agreed to let Ritsuka move in with him, as long as he can check up on Ritsuka from time to time. Soubi also went to pick up Ritsuka's things when his mother was out, and this time he used the key Ritsuka gave him instead of 'breaking and entering'. By the time Soubi got Ritsuka home, everything was moved and ready for him.

Natsuo and Yoji were happy that Ritsuka was going to be living with them. They said that it was because now there was someone other than Soubi to talk to, but Soubi knew that they just enjoyed poking fun at Ritsuka.

It was 10 at night and the zeros had already gone to bed. Now the only thing left to do was figure out the sleeping arrangements for the fighter and sacrifice. Ritsuka said that he didn't mind sleeping on the couch, since it pulled out into a bed, but Soubi insisted that he sleep in the king size bed with him. Since Ritsuka was tired from the days' events, he gave up and slipped under the covers as Soubi went to change. He came back to find his sacrifice on the verge of sleep. He quietly walked over to shut the lights off and than slipped into bed as well, snuggling Ritsuka close to him. With Ritsuka's last ounce of energy, he whispered, "Thank you for saving me."

Soubi smiled and kissed Ritsuka on the cheek. "I will always be here for you. I love you."

"I love you too, Soubi."

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**A/N- Hiiya! Just here to say thanks for taking time out you life to read this, it really means a lot to me. This is my second Loveless fanfic, and I tried to use the advice I got from people on my other story. I will update my other story soon, but this one just came to me, and within a few hours, it was done! Remember criticism is always accepted, so please review, it'll help a lot!  
Much luv,**

**XOiHeaRTMiLoOX**

**R.I.P. Heath Ledger 1/22/08**

**(This situation was a coincidence, and in no way related to Heath Ledger's death.)**


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